Crossroads . . .

Obviously there was no coincidence about my having
come to this place. I had arrived at a crossroads in my
life. Not that things weren’t working out for me. On the
contrary I had a job that was good and indicative of a
promising career. I had a nice place to live, wonderful
friends, and a supportive family. Moreover, I had the
implicit support of basic social values. In other words,
everyone encouraged me in the life I was living. They
had my whole future planned out for me, including how
I should design my career path, my social direction, my
living situation, the organizations I should join, and the
networks I should develop. I saw my life advertised on
the radio, the television, in magazines, and on billboards.
Yet something in me was deeply disturbed by all
this. Something felt missing, and none of the support
or signs that I was on the right road to success was able
to compensate for an inner hole—one so large that the
greatest success, as imagined by everyone throughout
my support network, could fall into one tiny corner and
disappear. A voice long forgotten would cry out in those
moments when I let go of pursuing other people’s dreams,
or at least that’s when I heard the voice. It echoed loudly
throughout that inner hole, creating a reverberation that
rocked me to the very core of my being. Whose voice it
was I never quite knew. I did come to realize, however,
that if I didn’t listen, the inner hole would only grow,
eventually consuming all of myself, until I became just a
hollowed-out shell.

[page 32]

 

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